The (new) Worst Song Jay’s Ever Heard
To celebrate my 100th 98th tweet, I’ve decided to give everyone a treat.
For some reason (mostly boredom, I assure you), I felt like analyzing a music video. I got a bit nostalgic for the days on MySpace where I would post a hilariously awesome “Bad 80′s Video” or equally awesome “Cheesy 90′s Love Song.” This time, though, I’ve decided to present the video for what may be the (new) worst song I’ve ever heard.
I give you…. LMFAO’s “Party Rock Anthem, or, as someone in the Youtube comments called it, “Hipsterpocalypse.” I prefer the latter.
So, either open the video in a new tab or watch it embedded right here and follow along. Hopefully it won’t be as painful for you as it was for me.
So, let’s go through this moment by moment.
0:00- the video begins with what I can only assume is an homage to the movie 28 Days Later. Because, you know, they’re all deep and into culture and stuff.
0:50- this is the beginning of the “shuffling” theme that runs through the video. I think it’s a metaphor for the oppression of modern youth, but I’m also pretty sure that nobody in this video knows what “metaphor” means.
1:05- here we’re introduced to my favorite character in the video, a guy who reminds me of Mos Def. From this point on, I will call him Fauxs Def. He tells us the plot that we just read a minute ago, and we get some more “comedy” from Fro-Pick and Guy-Who-Looks-Kind-Of-Like-Kirk-Hammett-From-Metallica. It is incredibly painful, but I did giggle at “vitamins” at 1:46.
For reference:
Kirk Hammett-
Kirk Hammett, probably playing a guitar solo.
Not-Kirk Hammett-
Not-Kirk Hammett, probably not playing a guitar solo.
Moving on…
1:56- I love how this girl’s outfit perfectly captures the entire hipster attitude. She’s wearing bright pink shoes, a construction helmet, and a reflective vest. What do you wear a reflective vest for? So people will see you. That is all.
2:02- hey look, a robot.
2:16- oh trust me, Fro-Pick, it gets scarier.
2:26- sadly, Fauxs Def leaves us, but instead of shuffling or whatever, he just walks away. Classic.
2:29- at this point I’m still not entirely convinced that this isn’t just a big joke, based pretty much on their faces. But then they start rapping, and I start looking for toothpicks to shove in my ears.
2:39-2:53- WORST RAPPING EVER.
3:07- DON’T YOU DARE SULLY THE GOOD NAME OF LED ZEPPELIN, FRO-PICK.
3:20ish- I didn’t notice this the first time (yes, I’ve watched this more than once), but not-Kirk Hammett’s outfit changes between frames while Fro-Pick’s doesn’t. Huh.
3:38- Ha ha! Fake out!
3:39- well crap, I was right.
3:40- this is when I realize that, sadly, they are taking this completely seriously. They’re dancing with way too much conviction to have the least bit of irony about their… well, irony. Also, a robot.
4:17- yes, but what if hatin’ is justified? I think about these things so you guys don’t have to.
4:25- I honestly think that Random Blonde Girl is the best (as in “most normally”) dressed person in this whole video. Besides Fauxs Def.
-the robot is a close second.
-or is it third?
4:37 or something- Gah, say something else!
4:55- “No hipsters were harmed in the making of this videHOLY CRAP HOW DID HE NOT BREAK HIS NECK.”
-I freely admit that some of the dancing is pretty impressive. Still, this is ridiculous.
5:22- more dancing
5:26- more dancing. Also, I’m getting tired of the robot.
5:48- more danci… is that Jesus?!
5:58- the end of the song, and what is no doubt going to be printed on hundreds of shirts sold at the LMFAO concerts that nobody will go to.
Final thoughts:
I know it’s a “dance track,” and musically it serves its purpose. The rapping and singing, however, range from “meh” at best to “Jay can do better” at worst. Plus, the fact that everyone in the video has absolutely no self-awareness whatsoever makes it even more hilarious.
Is it truly the worst song I’ve ever heard? Not quite. It’s catchy, albeit stupid, and as long as Nickelback, the Black Eyed Peas and, uh, “third crappy band” continue making “music,” it’s hard for anybody to top… err, bottom…
…
Be worse than them.
Seriously, though: WORST RAPPING EVER.
Fun facts!
-the two guys are the son (not-Kirk Hammett) and grandson (Fro-Pick) of Berry Gordon, the founder of Motown Records.
-the Random Blonde Girl, according to her Wikipedia page, is known for, among other thing*, “her work with LMFAO.” Neat!
Sad facts…
-the two guys are the son and grandson of Berry Gordon, the founder of Motown Records.
-not-Kirk Hammett is 36. And he still dresses like that.
Thanks for reading, and hopefully I can get back into more frequent updates soon. I want to do more “Great Christian Albums” entries, and I’m still kind of keen on doing a live-blog of a movie, which would read kind of like this but longer. Obviously.
Have a good night.
*yes, thing.
